


all i want for christmas

by loonyBibliophile



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas fic, Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:10:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonyBibliophile/pseuds/loonyBibliophile
Summary: All Rose, Dave, and Jade want for Christmas is for Dirk and Roxy to sort their shit out.





	all i want for christmas

Have you noticed,” Rose starts thoughtfully, leaning on the arm of a sofa where Dave and Jade have taken up residence with an impressively enormous holiday tin of cheese popcorn “that she smiles whenever she says his name?” 

Dave quirks an eyebrow at her and slides his eyes across the room, and Jade follows suit. All eyes rest on the doorway, where Roxy is standing in a velvet dress, excitedly welcoming her best friend into the room. 

“Maybe that’s just how mouths look when you say ‘Dirk’” Dave offers, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “Try it, Harls.” Jade nods seriously. 

“Dirk.” she says, careful and even. Her lips do not, in fact, turn up at the edges. “How’d I do?”

“No smile. Rose’s right.” 

“Aren’t I always?”

“Absolutely not.” Dave snorts, shaking his head.

“Name one time.” Rose crosses her arm, a challenge. Jade rolls her eyes at them. 

“You said there was no way John would ever date you if you were already dating Kanaya but now you’re all happily confusing everyone you encounter April-and-her-gay-boyfriend style.” 

“Damn it. Also, you’re spending too much time with Roxy, stop comparing everything to television shows.” 

“Never.” 

“Has he dated anyone since he and Jake tried to get back together?” Jade asked, tucking her hair behind her ears as she pulls out a fist full of popcorn, eating most of it and carefully tossing some of it at Dave. 

“I think he might have called that barista who’s always winking at him, but I don’t think it worked out.” Dave replied, grimacing as the popcorn made its way between his face and his shades. Jade pumped her fist. Rose chuckled. 

“Maybe we’ll get a real Christmas miracle and he’ll figure it out.” she offered, voice thoughtful. 

“What do you mean?” Jade tilted her head, the bells adorned antlers she wore tinkling slightly. 

“Eventually he’s going to have to realize just because he isn’t normally attracted to women doesn’t mean things don’t happen.” Rose shrugged, waving a hand between her sister and Dirk, standing in the doorway. Dirk towered over her, pulling a scarf from around his neck as Roxy reached up to pull his obviously foggy shades from his face. “Their relationship is not normal, and she knows it, but he’s got to figure it out on his own.” 

“Why don’t you say anything?” Jade leaned forward, watching the two as closely as she could. Roxy slid Dirk’s shades up into his hair, and dusted snow from the spikes. Dirk rolled his eyes, tugged them down, and reached around to hug her, pulling her close to his side. 

“You’re here!” they could hear her say “I didn’t know if you were coming this year, I know things have been… rough.” she was beaming up at him, her smile only faltering when she alluded to his terrible breakup a few months before. 

“Striders are legally obligated to attend the Lalonde family Christmas, Rox. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You and your sister might kill me.” 

“Still. I’m glad you’re here.” she grinned, leaning up and pecking him on the cheek, leaving it smeared with lipstick, and patting his arm, before rushing off when someone called her from the kitchen, leaving Dirk looking somewhat ruffled in the entryway, snow still on his shoulders. 

“Interfere? And spook him, and break my sister’s heart?” Rose raised an eyebrow and shook her head. “Too many variables for me to try and play meddling matchmaker.” 

“It worked with us.” Jade said with a shrug, knocking her knees against Dave’s. 

“Yes, but the two of you were far, far less complicated. Also, Dave only pretends to be emotionally constipated. Dirk actually is. While Dave just needed a slap in the face, Dirk needs to wake up on his own.” 

“I’m not emotionally constipated, I’m chill.” Dave made a face, playing at mock offense. Jade and Rose both rolled their eyes that time. 

“Coming!” Roxy called from the kitchen, and everyone turned to watch the door, the bell having just rung. Dirk was still leaning on a wall nearby, staring down at his phone, likely waiting to see where Jake was hanging out to avoid as much awkwardness as possible. Roxy bounded over, her velvet dress swishing around her knees, and pulled the door open “Happy— oh.” 

Dirk looked up from his phone the minute her voice fell, and frowned, quickly moving into the doorway once more before Rose and the others could make out the identity of the new arrival, although Dirk’s instantaneous action left little doubt. 

“I’m pretty sure you weren’t invited to this party, Ampora.” Dirk crossed his arms as Rose, Dave and Jade all sat up straighter upon hearing the guest’s name confirmed. 

“What, I can’t stop by and see my old pals?”

“No one here is your friend anymore, Cronus.” Roxy said, her voice steely. She crossed her arms and straightened her back, and Dirk looped an arm around her for additional emotional support. 

“Oh great, this hopeless trainwreck is still happening.” Cronus sneered, waving a hand between the two of them. Rose and the others on the sofa perked up, leaning into listen. This was getting interesting. “You know buddy,” Cronus jabbed a finger at Dirk and the room shifted warily. Physically intimidating one of the Striders never went well, particularly when said Strider was Dirk, and then even more so if Roxy was involved. “I’m pretty sure you’re the reason I never got fuckin’ laid. Just man up and tell her there’s no chance so maybe she’ll stop being such a damn tease.” 

“I suggest you leave right the fuck now.” Dirk practically growled, and Roxy grabbed his shoulder, manicured nails digging in slightly and shaking her head, warning him off. Dirk nodded, but didn’t relax any. 

“He’s right. Get the fuck away from here before I let him beat the shit out of you, or do it myself.” Roxy’s voice was cool and even, and she slammed the door in Cronus’ face, then pretty much immediately collapsed into Dirk’s side. He rubbed her upper arm. 

“I fucking hate that guy.” he mumbled. 

“Yeah, join the fucking club.” Roxy mumbled back. She took a moment, leaning against Dirk and closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, shook her head a few times, and then beamed out at the small crowd of friends and extended family. “Sorry about that! Please, go back to enjoying the festivities. Dinner's almost ready.” 

With that, Roxy slipped back towards the kitchen. Dirk followed behind her, frowning. 

“Are you okay?” Dirk grasped Roxy’s arm, and she shrugged out of his grip, pulling the fridge open. 

As okay as I ever am. Are you okay?” She turned and glared at him as she set a couple of liters of soda and a bottle of sparkling cider on the counter. The annual Lalonde family party was an alcohol free affair. 

“Don’t avoid my question.”

“Don’t avoid the question by telling me not to avoid your question.”

“I’m fine, Roxy.”

“You’re a big fat liar, is what you are.” Roxy shoved him as she bent down to open the oven. 

“If you must reference Frankie Muniz, can you not at least stick to the cinematic masterpiece that is Agent Cody Banks?” Dirk’s voice was totally deadpan. 

“Now who’s avoiding the question?” she crossed her arms, glaring at him.

“I need to talk to you.” Dirk sighed quietly, allowing himself to run a hand through his hair. 

“Okay. After dinner. I promise.” she squeezed his arm, taking a moment to lean against him. 

“After dinner.”

“Man, I can’t believe we spent ten million dollars training you and we didn’t teach you how to talk to girls.” Roxy winked, bumping her hip into Dirk’s, and carried a cheese plate into the dining room. Dirk rolled his eyes behind his shades. 

During dinner, Roxy crams a second second chair beside hers at the head of the table. Dirk settles into easily, and the rest of the gang settles in around them. Dave and Jade, John and Rose and Kanaya, the Captor brothers, Aradia sandwiched between them trying to dram antlers on Sollux, both of the Pyrope girls and Terezi’s… friend? Girlfriend? No one was ever sure exactly where Terezi and Vriska stood at any given moment. Jane sat with Roxy’s friend Calliope, keeping Jake company a decent distance from Dirk. 

Dave, Jade, and Rose had all sat themselves as close as possible to Dirk and Roxy, clustered on one side of the table, to observe. John and Kanaya mostly just ate and bothered Rose and each other, less interested in the Dirk and Roxy Problem than their shared partner. 

For their part, Dirk and Roxy did not disappoint. Roxy stole food from Dirk’s plate, and Dirk prodded Roxy with the handle of his fork when he didn’t think she was eating enough. They whispered observations to each other, snickering with laughter and trying to hide it. When everyone had stuffed themselves with food, Roxy ducked out to the kitchen again, dragging Dirk with her to help her bring dessert in. Once everything was laid out and people were clamoring over homemade Jane Crocker treats, Roxy delicately cleared her throat to make her annual toast. 

“Hey guys.” she grinned, holding her glass of strawberry soda aloft. “It’s been a weird year, so I’m really glad so many of our fucked up little family are here. I love all of y’all, a lot, and I honestly don’t think I’d have ever guessed when I met some of you back in pre-k or even college that we’d basically be family. Some of you I’ve known longer than others.” she paused, smiling at Rose, Dave, and Jade, and then bumping her hip into Dirk’s shoulders “But you’re all important. So, let’s stuff our faces, and then let’s go outside and throw shit at each other. Happy holidays, babes.” She raised her glass, then clinked it against Dirk’s bottle of orange soda. 

“Here here!” Rose said cheerfully, clinking her own glass of water against whoever’s cup she could reach, lingering at both John and Kanaya, pressing a kiss to each of their cheeks. Dave tugged on Jade’s antler headband and kissed her nose, and she reached around him to steal a cookie off his plate. 

From the corner of her eye, Rose watched Dirk grab a plate with two slices of cake in one hand, and Roxy’s elbow in the other, dragging Roxy into the kitchen. 

“I need to talk to you.” he said, his voice deceptively even. Roxy took a bite of chocolate cake, hopping up onto the counter, and pushed Dirk’s shades into his hair. 

“Okay, shoot, Agent Cody Banks.” 

“Shut up, Rox, I’m serious.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Seriously, what do you need to talk about?” Roxy placed a hand on Dirk’s upper arm, trying to be reassuring.

“It’s about Jake, and why we broke up, and the huge fuck-up blow-out fight we had.” Dirk sighed, itching to pull his shades down, but knowing this was ultimately a better conversation to have with his eyes exposed. 

“Yeah, you were pretty pissed at him. And cagey about why. I was worried.” she frowned. 

“I blew up at him because he dumped me by implying I had…. unresolved feelings for someone else.” 

“What?” Roxy snorted “Man, even I didn’t think Jakey was that dumb. You’ve never even really dated anyone other than him.”

“He wasn’t wrong.” Dirk shrugged one arm, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What? Stridork, have you been holding out on me? Also like… why get mad if he was right, you know?”

“Because it was you.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Dirk. Not cool.” Roxy dropped her arm from his immediately, crossing hers in front of her chest and backing into the cabinets. She went from smiling and open to totally closed off in mere seconds. Dirk mentally cursed himself. “That’s a real goddamn low blow, Strider.” 

“He wasn’t wrong.” Dirk stressed the words slowly, reaching out and hesitantly putting his hands on Roxy’s shoulders.

“This is a really fucked up thing to do, Dirk.” Roxy shied away, tears threatening her eyes. Dirk sighed. Why was he always so goddamn bad with words? 

“Rox.” he mumbled, his voice as low and soft as he could make it, as he moved his hands up to the sides of her face. “I got mad at Jake because I was confused and because I was in denial. He accused me of being in love with you, even if I wouldn’t admit it, and I was so goddamn caught up in- in this idea no one could ever know me as well as I know myself, that everything I thought about myself was absolute, that I put blinders on myself, like a damn racehorse.”

“You don’t like girls, Dirk.” Roxy said through gritted teeth, clearly fighting tears. 

“No. But I like you. Just you. I love you.” Dirk’s hands shook where he held Roxy’s face. “I.” he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to her right cheek “Love.” he kissed her left cheek. “You.”, whispered it against her lips as he pulled her in and kissed her properly. Roxy melted, fisting his shirt into her hands and pulling him closer. 

“Best fucking Christmas ever.” Roxy mumbled into Dirk’s mouth, pulling him in to kiss him again. “You’re sure about this?” she asked, pulling back, suddenly shy, frowning and smudged with dark lipstick. 

“Yes. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. I wouldn’t do that to you, Roxy.”

“I love you.” Roxy said, a grin spreading across her face “I love you! I can’t believe I can say that.” 

Before Dirk or Roxy could say or do anything more, there was a thump from the direction of the dining room. They both turned, and watched as Dave fell through the door, turned his fall into a somersault, and gracefully pulled himself to his feet and walked to the fridge like nothing weird was going on. 

“Sorry. Just wanted some fresh AJ.” he pulled a glass bottle of Martinelli’s from the fridge, and nodded. 

“Are Jade and Rose on the other side of that door?” Dirk jerked his thumb back to the door Dave had fallen through. Dave looked at his brother, expression blank. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

His perfect lie was ruined when he left the kitchen and Jade immediately burst into a fit of laughter. 

“I think we’re being watched.” Dirk said with a chuckle, lifting Roxy off the counter.

“They just want us to be happy.” she shrugged, smiling and laying her head against his neck.

“Mostly you.” 

“Hey, Jade likes you. She at least wants you to be happy.” Roxy stuck her tongue out, and Dirk laughed. 

“Fair. I can’t believe we stole Jade from her own cousin in the divorce.” 

“Please.” Roxy snorted “She’s practically your sister in law at this point. Now come on, we have a snowball fight to win.”

“Ah yes, we do have a five year undefeated streak to maintain.”

“We’re a very good team.” 

“Are the supplies in place?” Dirk asked, looping an arm around Roxy as they walked out into the dining room again.

“Oh yeah.” she winked, and then turned to the party “HEY. It’s time to go outside. Annual Snowball Battle Royale starts in five minutes. No more than three people to a team! And…. go!” 

As soon as she yelled out ‘go’, Roxy and Dirk turned around and sprinted out into the yard. Under a tree nearby was a large plastic tub, which they both immediately started piling snow into. Once it was full, Roxy scrambled gracefully up the tree, and then took the tub of snow from Dirk so he could climb up afterwards. While the others spilled out into the yard, building walls of snow and hiding in bushes, Dirk and Roxy rolled snowball after snowball and talked strategy from the wide branches of the tree. 

Sollux, Mituna, and Aradia are out first, like most years. Terezi and Vriska follow, not because of lack of skill, but because they got distracted making out in a bush and Dave and Jade took them out. As always, the competition dwindles down to Dirk and Roxy versus Dave and Jade. Jade managed to take Dirk out by spotting them in the tree and taking a running leap and pulling him into a snowbank, but Roxy shook a massive pile of snow from the branches onto Dave’s head, and Dirk shoves Jade further into the snow, and Roxy lets out a triumphant cry, throwing her arms in the air as she leaps out of the tree. 

People started to trickle off, leaving Dirk, Roxy, Rose, Dave, Jade, John and Kanaya as the last people lingering, like pretty much every year. They’d all changed into spare, dry clothes and were clustered up in the living room. Dave and Jade had curled up in the giant beanbag by the fireplace, Jade snoozing lightly while Dave played with her hair. Rose sat between John and Kanaya on the sofa, her head on Kanaya’s shoulder and her feet tucked between John’s legs, reading a book quietly to both of them. Dirk sat in the massive armchair beside the tree, with Roxy curled up in his lap with her arms around his waist and her face pressed into his neck. Miracle on 34th Street was playing with the volume low on the television mounted to the wall, and the fire was crackling pleasantly. 

Raising her head from where she’d nestled it, Roxy looked around the room, a sleepy smile on her face. She leaned up, pressing a kiss to Dirk’s jaw, and then stood. After padding across the room, she flipped the overheads off, so the room was only illuminated by the fire and the lights on the tree. She picked one of Dirk’s hoodies up from the floor, pulling it on, and crawled back into his lap. He smiled down at her, his shades on the end table beside them, and gave her a quick squeeze of a hug. 

“Merry Christmas, Dirky.” Roxy whispered, pressing a kiss to Dirk’s neck as she nuzzled back into the warmth of his chest and shoulder. 

“Merry Christmas, Rox.” he mumbled back, his thumb stroking a gentle rhythm into the skin of her neck until they both drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays, this is so self indulgent


End file.
